December 2010
jan-iel asked: ● ☆● ¤● ☆●
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Happy
New Year!
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- jan-iel.tumblr.com
★●\ ! /●★
Happy
New Year!
★●/ ! \●★
● ☆● ¤● ☆●
- jan-iel.tumblr.com
pokeelisha asked: Merry Christmas
Sincerely Elisha^.^
Sincerely Elisha^.^
That moment when you're reading a book and you...
snapesgrudge:
"Don't Want An Ending": THIS PERSON IS A HOT BITCH →
californiaberry:
soothingscathefire:
thewaine:
-srslynotamused:
micatoy:
eekim08:
sweetstuffcalledlove:
acosibunx0:
everysingledamnthing:
mcflurrrryyy:
prettyfaceddork:
ignorantfucks:
deathlilies:
…
THAT’S SO TRUE.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
pokeelisha asked: Merry Christmas
Sincerely Elisha^.^
Sincerely Elisha^.^
Why is sex like riding a bike?
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. It's best to have a soft place to land.
8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
12. If you fall off get right back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.
Why do dwarfs laugh while they play soccer?
Because the grass tickles their balls!
A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his...
The question directed: ‘Give four advantages of breast milk.’
What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:
No need to boil.
Never goes sour.
Available whenever necessary.
So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again....
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic,...
